Are you in agony over getting dumped for the last time? If getting dumped is more common to you than the common cold, don’t despair; there are many easy ways to adjust your communication style, attractiveness and relationship knowledge so that you’ll stay with someone you love.
Why You’re Always Getting Dumped
- Too needy – You act clingy, don’t give your partner his or her space, and you act as if you can’t live without your partner. Your partner begins to feel trapped and dumps you when he or she can’t take it anymore.
- Too independent – You act so independent, as if you don’t need your partner. If you aren’t making your partner a priority, he or she will likely feel as if he or she isn’t one. The result is often to be dumped.
- Too boring – In other words, you don’t offer your partner anything. You may not express who you are, don’t have much going on in your life (and without the drive to do something about it) and aren’t passionate about anything.
- Don’t have similar values – This shouldn’t be taken personally. It’s about your partner not feeling that you have similar values or other major areas of life and attitude in common. Usually this refers not to external but internal things that drive someone to get dumped.
- Too successful – This mostly refers to women getting dumped. This can be a power struggle by men, who often do the dumping. You shouldn’t see success as something to hide, but if you’re dumped more than once or twice for being “too successful,” you may need to examine how you talk, act and behave about your success. Do you brag about it? If not, it’s not you ¾ it’s them!
- Celebrate – After being dumped, focus on the opportunity now that you’re single again. Don’t spend a second worrying, fretting or getting angry about being dumped. Enjoy the freedom!
Desperation Makes a Difference
- Your partner (present or future) can smell desperation from miles away. Do you need someone, or do you want someone? There’s a big difference, and it can affect your relationship success rate.
- Set the bar high for yourself. No one wants anyone who will just take whoever is there. Set the standard for someone who has everything you’re looking for ¾ sweet-natured, positive, has something unique to offer you, funny, etc.
- Repeat this affirmation for desperation: “I am totally and completely fulfilled within myself, independent of what anyone else thinks or says about me. No one can give me love. I give it to myself first; they, second.”
How Do You Express Yourself?
- Take some time to reflect about how you come across to others.
- Ask your best friends how a stranger sees you. Do you come across as approachable or not? Compassionate or intimidating? What qualities are past partners seeing in you? How can you improve?
- Make a list of everything you’d like to enhance about yourself and why. Set goals for each quality you’d like to possess to improve your relationship success.
Getting dumped is hard to admit to, but when you are able to take an honest look at yourself and your part in the failed relationship, you can improve yourself and those qualities that others don’t deem as attractive in order to become more attractive for a new partner.