Are You in a Sex Rut?

Was your sex life once exciting and spontaneous, and now it’s on the borderline of boring and predictable? Have no fear as these tips will allow you to determine if you’re in a sex rut (as opposed to a dry spell) and offer some exciting ways to enhance what you’ve got to excite your partner to new heights!



Sex Rut vs. Dry Spell

  • Dry spell – a period of not having as much sex as usual but that bounces back after a week or so.
  • Sex rut – long periods of not having sex at all, or when you do, you’re not excited and feeling connected by your partner like you once did.
  • There’s a big difference – Learn how to tell the signs of sex or the absence of it. Are you disconnected during sex? It may be a barometer for how connected you are in your relationship outside of your sex life.
  • Focus on boosting your attraction – What makes you feel good? Exercise, eating healthy food, working out in the weight room or trying a new outdoors activity? Encourage your partner to participate with you.
  • Bonus tip – Focus on doing an activity together that gets you sweaty. Then head to the shower together to get clean and then to the bedroom to get sweaty again!

Set the Stage

  • Dress to impress – Dress up every day to impress your partner. What did you wear when you first met? Use as much energy now to get ready for a date as you did at the beginning of your relationship.
  • Focus on your attractiveness – Remind your partner just how much you still find him or her attractive; compliment your partner throughout the day. Whisper in his or her ear a sexy thought, and focus on touching your partner throughout the night in a playful way. Flirt with your tongue.
  • Dress your partner to impress – Buy your partner a new outfit for a special date night that you plan for in advance. Wear your partner’s favorite outfit that you own, and go all out to make yourself feel as confident as possible.
  • Compliments – Make your partner feel special with compliments and flattery. While getting ready for your date, focus on your partner. What can you say or do to make him or her feel special?
  • Flirt – Have prolonged foreplay during the date by flirting as if you were teenagers. Focus on kissing him or her passionately and using sexy body language. Feed your partner a bite of your dinner, and suggest naughty things to do after dinner is through while out in public. Build the excitement for the whole night through.

Flirt Your Heart Out

  • Focus on flirting your heart out! Graze your partner’s neck with your fingertips, steal kisses when no one is looking, order something special for desert that you can share, teach your partner a new kissing technique, whisper observations in his or her ear like, “Everyone is checking you out; you look so gorgeous. Well, it’s no wonder ¾ look at you!”
  • Sit close, and flirt with your eye contact, your touch, and your sweet and sexy comments that your partner hasn’t heard you say in a long time. What are some of your first date memories? Bring your partner back to life by going into detail all that you remember about your first kiss, or what your partner wore the second you laid eyes on your partner years ago…


There are many ways to get out of a sex rut, and it all comes down to preparation to get your love life back to normal again. Excite your partner and excite yourself in the process by taking the lead on flirtation, and your partner will be more than willing to follow your lead!

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